This is an extremely ‘meta’ post about life and happiness. But with that said, perhaps a hard won truth.
Without being too ‘abstract’ about it: Above the basics needed, the expression of courage is what brings happiness to life. It is why having kids, or giving to charity, climbing everest or making something beautiful is a worthwhile endeavor.
Without any positive engagement (and by engagement I mean Willful Acts times Risk – ie. the expression of courage in some way shape or form) these things are meaningless. I had said it earlier – resistance is what gives all meaning to life, and believe it (metaphysically-speaking) to be a related concept.
Perhaps an analogy is as simple as mass applied to vector. In this case resistance is applied to (directional) will. The interaction of the two brings the world closer to the way you wish it to be.
Certainly not there yet, but it perhaps a personal breakthrough. Trying to understand all this.
Either way, I feel now that the expression of courage in some way shape or form is the most meaningful thing that you can do to find contentment within yourself.